Stage 2 of Spy and Q’s vacation had us presenting passports and crossing into Canada…

where Spy and Q were forced to learn a touch of French. Arrete was the first word to be assimilated. Followed by: Bonjour, Merci, and Mouche.

Spy delighted in pointing out: Every. Single. Mouche.

And much to the amazement of Spy and Q (and the amusement of the residents of Montreal and Quebec), Spymom and Spydad exercised their dusty high school French. We expertly managed signs, menus, greetings and questions about the time (Freshman French). But from there, it was downhill.

Spy and Q were frustrated by the hotel televisions. Darn it, only the “baby” shows (think PBS) were in English. Did that deter them? Not at all. Which begs the question of the value of cartoons… (Er, Spy and Q have now found their favorite cartoons at home converted to Spanish. I have it on good authority that this will promote language fluency…. *cue the evil laugh*)

In Montreal, we visited the Montreal Science Centre and their debut of the Indiana Jones exhibit. Awesome exhibit. Catch it if you get the chance. They even had a digital ‘find-the-missing-pieces-of-your-artifact’ game that kept Spy and Q engaged, interested and busy.

We ran the Labyrinth or Labyrinthe du Hangar 16.  Very cool. Being impatient people, we opted to go with the first group available.

In French.

Oops.

So we started the maze not knowing anything and not being able to communicate well (if at all) with our fellow lab rats.

In the dark, we made our way through shredded tarps, bungee cords and bars. Up ladders and down tube slides. From up high, water guns were turned on us…

Spy was worried, tho’ eventually, 45 minutes later, we reached the end.

We also rode the Saute Moutons, a ride on a jet boat to play in the rapids of the St. Lawrence River. The website photos and video well-represent my experience. Water. Lots and lots of water crashing over us. Again and again and again.

Almost everyone enjoyed the trip.

Spy hates water in his face and so we helped him strap on goggles that we’d dragged along on our trip specifically for this part of the vacation (much to the amusement of the family in front of us).  After the first splash, Spy’s enthusiasm for this boat ride took a dive and, when a wave removed said goggles, he screamed to the captain, “Go back NOW!”

Alas, his screams were to no avail. Spy quickly learned to keep his mouth shut and clutch the bar tightly. Nothing was dry by the time we returned to shore.

Spy now considers that he has bragging rights. “We almost drowned on that awful boat ride!”

The next day we headed to Quebec City where we put Q in jail. But when the guide turned off the light, he bolted.

Solitary confinement for 30 days was a frequent punishment (followed by the pillory and a branding). It was also here that they held serial murderers. However, for children under the age of 14, no matter the crime, there was no jail time. Just punishment. For example, ages 7-14 could spend time in the pillory for crimes.

The rest of our time was spent wandering and touring Upper Quebec, Vieux Quebec, and Lower Quebec. Spy grumbled loudly and continuously every time he was forced to climb yet another hill. Overall, ’twas the battlements that most impressed Spy and Q.

Well, no. That would be a lie. What most impressed Spy and Q was the hotel pool. That and the fact that in Canada, you only had to be 7 to go in the hot tub.

The beginning of this year’s family vacation was all about factory tours in Vermont.

Stop 1: The Granite Factory

Rock of Ages

Spy and Q sandblasted their very own granite samples (a puppy and a wolf respectively). Then, we toured the enormous granite factory. You’re seeing about half the place here. It was very loud. What were they working on? Mostly gravestones.

Stop 2: Ben and Jerry’s

That’s right, we waited for 1.5 hours to take a 10 minute tour. Sigh.  Spymom and Spydad knew there was no getting out of this one. Pictures? Sorry. We weren’t allowed.

BUT Spy did run up to this booth and ask a question.

Spymom envisioned the encounter going something like this:

Spy: “Can I ask a question?”

B&J Guy: “Sure, kid. That’ll be $2.75.”

Stop 3: The Chocolate Factory

Lake Champlain Chocolates

Spy and Q paid rapt attention. Particularly when they were handing out free samples.

This is the ‘Enrober’.

Which begs the question, can you disrobe chocolate? If so, there was a lot of disrobing going on in the factory store and outside in the parking lot…

Stop 4: The Teddy Bear Factory

Vermont Teddy Bear Company

By the time we reached this building, I was in complete sympathy with this bear:

But this place cracked me up. The tour was amazing, even if we could barely bear the bear puns.

We met Franken Bear who kindly demonstrated the inner workings of a Teddy Bear.

Unfortunately, they did not sell this bear in the gift shop.

Sigh.

How perfect he would have been for a certain Halloween party…

Spy asked the tour lady a question, “Did the stuffing machine ever go crazy and shoot stuffing all over the place and…”

“Why, yes!” she replied, and lifted a giant, over-sized stuffed bear arm from a pile of fluff. “This is an example of what can go wrong. We place them in this bin (of stuffing) to give them time to shrink back down to size.”

Spy grew quiet, considering whether to believe her or not.

*Snort* Spy obviously hadn’t been the first to ask.

And then there was the bear in the hospital. Aside from his ankle, he was suffering from low blood sugar. Hence the honey drip.

Stop 5: The Beer Factory

Magic Hat Brewing Company

The coolest of them all in terms of machinery. The Licker Sticker malfunctioned while we were there, and Spy and Q were thrilled to watch them get everything running again.

And even better? The free samples at the end. By this time, we’d had it. Even Spy was ready for a refreshing drink. He kept the bartender hopping. ***

*** A lady witnessed this moment and I heard her gasp, “That kid, is he really…”

“Water,” Spymom replied. “It’s just water.”

Spy and Q were overheard a few days ago discussing the ‘dirty’ state of the family cat. Darwin has been spending much time on the screen porch monitoring chipmunks, squirrels and birds. In the process, he has become coated with pollen, dust and spider webs.

Conversation turned to the idea that perhaps they should “clean up” the cat by means of a bath.

Spymom is of a mind to lean back and watch that attempt.

We do, after all, have plenty of band aids and Neosporin.

Spy and Q were drawing with chalk on the driveway. Each had his own plans. These plans conflicted with the other’s. Turf wars erupted and despite ongoing hostilities, nothing was solved that evening.

The next day, while Q was away, Spy resolved the issue by encroaching upon Q’s property. Spy then set up satellites to prevent Q from retaliating.

Careful, they’ll shoot your chalk helicopters right out of the sky.

Yesterday, we took Spy and Q to see The Flying Karamazov Brothers in NYC.

Given the show’s name was 4Play, Spydad and Spymom previewed this YouTube video and a couple of reviews just to be certain it was kid friendly.

It was. Extremely.

Take a moment and go catch glimpse of these four men in kilts. I’ll wait.

It’s worth your time. Promise.

We had second row seats in a small theater down near NYU. Fortunately for Spy (and for whomever was supposed to sit there), the two seats in front of him were empty.

The show opened as the Brothers Karamozov (Pavel, Alexei, Zossima and Nikita) rhythmically drummed upon and then rhythmically destroyed a number of cardboard boxes. Spy was bouncing in his seat, laughing. As they walked from the stage, one wearing his box over his head, Spy turned to us with glee in his eyes. It was his kind of show.

Particularly since the performers encourage audience participation.

Spy doesn’t need much encouragement. He participated. Repeatedly.

E.g. #1:

As one brother juggles raw eggs a mere four feet away, Spy yells, “Throw it on the floor!”

“Not my job, kid,” Zossima replies, not missing a beat.

The crowd cracked up.

E.g. #2

Pavel is lining up items of ‘extreme danger’ to be juggled for the finale. He holds up a torch and announces, “Item number…”

And in this pause for effect Spy yells, “TWO!”

“No, kid! Number FIVE,” Pavel says, walking away, rolling his eyes.

E.g. #3

This was Q’s moment. The brothers ask to juggle improv items from the audience. Q tosses up his mohawk hat to join 9 other items. It’s not chosen. Instead, the brothers fling it back and forth wearing it as a crown, banging the stage with a hockey stick (another improv item) as they take turns playing Roman emperor.

What items were juggled? An apple pie, a stuffed cloth chicken and the hockey stick.

E.g. #4

At one point, Spy is so excited, and getting so loud and so far out of his seat, that Spydad clamps his hand over Spy’s mouth and tries to haul him back into his chair (and off the kind lady to his right). The Brothers catch this and, in the middle of improv, all move as one to mock Spydad.

Three of them suddenly point to the lights, hopping up and down on stage and yelling.

One brother clamps his hand over another’s mouth, dragging him backward across the stage.

Nikita stopped hopping to look at Spydad, “Glad to see censorship is alive and well in America, dad.”

E.g. #5

We, the audience, were warned that the next part was improv juggling and that pins would be dropped. If, we were instructed, they landed in the audience, we were to leave them where they lay. The Brothers, tossed, spun around and did all kinds of impressive tricks. And, yes, a few were dropped. One pin skittered off the stage and landed on the floor in the front row. The Brothers then began to argue with each other, insisting that they should get the pin back. An eleven year old boy in the front row near Spy was exhorted to return the pin. That kid refused to move.

Spy, in complete affinity with the Brothers, drops to the floor and, before Spydad could catch him, army crawls under the chair in front of him, retrieves the pin and pops up with it, waving it in the air.

“Oh, there it is! The chatty kid in the second row’s got it.”

“Oh, good.”

“Throw it here kid!”

With no hesitation, Spy wings it back on stage.

“Thanks!” they all yell.

Spy is bouncing with glee.

Spymom and Spydad are relieved no one was injured.

At the end of the show, the people behind us tell us how much fun it was to have Spy in front of them, and the lady who sat next to Spy waves an amused goodbye. Spy is still bouncing with excitement after 90 minutes of juggling and improv comedy.

On the way out, we meet one of the brothers at the door as they said goodbye to their audience.

“He was the one in second row?” Alexei Karamazov asks.

I nod.

Smiling down at Spy, Alexei says, “He was great. We loved him.”

Gleeful, Spy hops over to meet the other brothers where Spydad announces, “It’s Q and Spymom’s birthday today.”

One of the brothers yanks Q’s hat from his hand, pops it back on his head and begins to sing. And so our theater experience ended with a three-part “Happy Birthday” serenade.

We’d laughed so hard for 90 minutes our faces hurt.

Can we all agree field trips were the best days of elementary school?

Yes?

Then you can understand why Spymom took Spy, Q and Spygrandma to the Old Sturbridge Village home school day which had the theme of the ‘Legend of Sleepy Hollow’.

In two hands-on classes, Spy and Q learned first how to make old-fashioned toys and, second, how to sew a book binding, stamp pictures and create a marbled cover.

Then we explored the village. Q was on a quest to answer all the questions about the Sleepy Hollow characters ‘living’ in Sturbridge. Along the way we visited the blacksmith to watch him make a ‘fleshing fork’, saw a housewife cook over the hearth, chased chickens and then quizzed the potter.

Then, it was time for school. So, was it really hooky?

And they did attempt recess activities.

At the village green, Spy and Q joined the infantry and were put through numerous drills.

And then we were off to visit the other houses, including the tin shop. There, Spy made the rude comment, “This is boring.” The tinner interrupted my reprimand by dragging Spy behind the fence and ‘forcing’ him to help make an “apology for your long-suffering mother.”

“Stand here.” Spy wanders. “Oh, I didn’t use the magic word. Stand here now!” Together the tinner and Spy had the audience in stitches. And I ended up with a cookie cutter apology.

Whaddayado when your Spy gets bored?

Tie Dye.

Spy and Q started with a package of five T-shirts each, some of which are here:

Then they moved on to packages of socks:

While Spymom tie-dyed their pillowcases and sheets:

We were having so much fun, that we even tie-dyed Spy’s two white long-sleeved T-shirts. His favorite? The “Rainbow Shirt“, of course.

For the past two weeks, Spy and Q have worn little else but these shirts. Then Spy came down yesterday morning in something else.

“No tie dye shirt today?” I’d just washed all of them so I knew the drawer was full.

“I’m saving them for school. One for each day.”

And this is good for the teacher, you see, because when Spy sneaks off, he’ll be all that easier to locate.

There’s a reason I encourage Spy’s penchant for bright colors.

Once again Spy and Q are in their underground engineering lab working on their fledgling skills to take over the world using robots.

This time, they’ve actually managed to animate their creation. Spy did the design work and and Q provided the labor.

Up from the cellar come Spy and Q (safety glasses shoved onto their foreheads) with this joint creation:

With all the appropriate mechanical creaky sounds, his arms MOVE!

The arm on the right sports a toothpaste gun.

Inside beats a red light indicating a connection to the remote control which Q uses to control each arm’s movement separately.

And those glowing green eyes? Here’s a view from the top.

Next time, plans are to make the robot walk.

Where boys can dig, bury themselves, throw things into water, race the waves, splash, learn to crash kites.

And generally wear themselves out to the point they collapse senseless into bed.

One of our stops was Provincetown, MA where Spy and Q went crabbing.

Q pulled out a green crab.

Spy pulled out handfuls of hermit crabs. Then hurled them back, one by one, saying “Goodbye” to each.

I love making birthday cakes – cakes in general – with Spy and Q. Today’s mixes make them incredibly easy as do all those pre-filled frosting tubes. They get so excited ‘popping’ the eggs, mixing in the oil and water – and finally – the chocolate powder. Yes. 99% of the time it’s chocolate around here. Once we made a marbled cake. And once a vanilla.

All in all, our cakes are less than professional, but we do have fun making them.

At age three, Q engineered this cake for Spydad:

Radar went down that day. When I wasn’t looking, all the planes crashed.

Q’s next cake was one we made for Halloween. A ‘just because’ cake.

This year all the kindergarteners brought home signed statements of their New Year’s Resolution.

And since Spy has a thing for the ‘hot lava’ cakes (you saw that coming, didn’t you?), this was the first cake he made all by himself. He did everything on his own under my instruction (except remove the hot pan from the oven at the very end).

Q is Lego obsessed. Has been for a good two years.

This year Q and Spydad built this Lego cake (key ingredient: marshmallows).

And just this past week, Spy had his birthday cake. I was even given explicit directions:

But since the cake wasn’t quite large enough to accommodate the entire diagram, we settled for portion of his plans. Ever seen a car race threatened by hot lava?

Many of you followed a number of iPhone uploads during our Spring Break vacation to AZ, UT and CO (with a brief stop in NM). Here are Spy and Q’s favorite parts.

The boys loved the Pink Jeep Tour in Sedona, AZ. Particularly the ‘going over cliffs’ part:

Q was psyched to see the Grand Canyon. We almost missed it because of the snow. But it cleared up the next morning:

Goblin State Park was a huge hit. Kids are allowed to climb on the formations. Spy and Q spent a good hour zooming. Slept like logs that night:

Spymom and Spydad’s greatest worry was the 32 foot ladder leading to the cliff dwellings at Mesa Verde National Park. Spy and Q LOVED it.

And they became Jr. Rangers. This Park Ranger made them WORK for their badges:

And the Monument Valley horseback tour was quite possibly “The Best Day Ever”. Q’s horse behaved and the Navajo guide only had to stop Spy’s horse from running away once.

So what kind of houses would Spy and Q build? Ones true to their natures.

Q, our engineering expert, designed his to appear ‘under construction’. Careful, there’s a barrier across the front sidewalk. And mind the orange gumdrop cones – those pretzel sticks are holding up the side of the house.

Spy set up a booby trap. If you follow the sidewalk under the entryway, you’ll trigger it. A red gum drop dumbbell will fall on your head and – see that orange candy sticking out of the red wreath? – the orange laser will blast you to bits before you reach the front door.

Who knew gingerbread houses could be so dangerous?

Q has decided to work on his spy skills.

This morning, some five minutes before the bus was due, Spy and Q decided to hide from Spymom.

I’d last seen them in the dining room doing something with Lego on the floor, but it was quiet there now.

Their Lego projects generally ‘fly’, so I called up the stairs, “Bus! Coats and shoes!”

Silence.

So I repeated the call up the stairs to the room over our garage.

Silence.

I’m walking through the house calling, “You’re going to miss the bus…” when I hear giggles and thumps.

Spy and Q drop to the dining room floor.

They were stretched out on the dining room chairs hiding under the tablecloth.

Q informs me, “We’re working on finding good hiding places.”

Great. Just great.

Perfectly at home in the dark, Spy had no trouble running up to strange doors and asking for candy.

Like most children across the land, Spy and Q came home with a haul and promptly dumped to count the candy like misers. Trades were made, lines were drawn, and finally, the stash went into separate bowls.

Our doorbell rang.

“Wow,” said a little witch. “You have a lot of candy.”

“Here, I have more. Take as much as you want,” said Spy, lifting his big brother’s bowl of candy and carrying it to the door.

Q let out a howl of protest.

The little stinker was stopped in his tracks, donning that charming Spy grin.

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Today Spy broke a code on the TV timer – his brother’s.

Toward the end of summer, Spymom was tired of monitoring Spy and Q’s TV time and so BOB was purchased.

Each child gets 3.5 hours of TV time per week. Every Friday, it reloads. Spy and Q each have their own PIN number. They type in the code, BOB beeps and they turn on the television. When the time is up, BOB disconnects them from TV, Wii and the DVR. BOB works beautifully and has considerably cut down on TV time and kept Spy and Q from arguing about whose turn it is to pick the TV show.

Then today, Spy broke his brother’s code.

Spydad noticed Spy standing before BOB punching in numbers. BOB kept buzzing, denying him. Turns out he knew some of Q’s numbers and – having used all of his BOB time – was attempting to use his brother’s. Minutes later, BOB chirped and the TV went on. Spy had broken his brother’s code.

In an undisclosed location (Grandpa’s Cellar), Spy and Q receive intense training in electronics.

Once upon a time, my father received his undergraduate degree in Electrical Engineering. He went on to medical school, shifting his focus to the electrical system in humans and is now a neurologist by profession. Did he give up those EE skills? No. They simply went underground.

Literally.

Growing up, lights would dim and strange sounds would emerge from the basement….

Today, this underground facility is still in use, occasionally for Spy and Q’s training.  As spymom, my only request was that my children be returned with both eyes and all ten fingers. Yes – for now – there are safety regulations.

At this bench, Grandpa teaches them the basics of wiring electrical circuits:

Nearby, deceased electronics are subjected to dissection:

What? You can’t tell what that is? Look harder….

Did anyone guess? Its a (former) VCR. In the past, a microwave oven… a TV… no one dares throw anything electronic out. I believe an alarm clock is slated for the next postmortem.

A lot of other interesting activities go on down there. One activity is the training Spy and Q receive using remote controls. Sure, they think they’re just playing while they crash remote control cars into piles of soda cans, styrofoam blocks and cardboard boxes. But secretly, Grandpa is training them to operate remote controlled airplanes so they can join him one day on the airfield. Drones are probably only one step beyond that…

Hot glue guns, balsa wood projects, saws, nails, wires… all this and more is at their disposal. Spy and Q can’t get down into the cellar fast enough when they arrive at Grandpa’s house.

For now, the experiments seem harmless enough. But at ages five and eight, its early days. I wouldn’t be surprised if Grandpa has an old electromyograph down there somewhere… so if Spy and Q start talking needles, muscle potentials and nerve conduction, I might just have to intervene.

Then again, NASA is working to interface man and machine by connecting people directly to computers in order to control flight systems using electromyographic signals. Perhaps Spy and Q will just be getting a head start.

The Spy and Q spend most of their free time building and playing with Lego. The other weekend, they built a little Wall-e. And then they went nuts. At peak, 20 robots were counted. An entire army. There were Wall-e transport vehicles, boats, planes… an entire compound.

Meet their leader:

The compound came complete with a night club including a hot tub, a bar (drinks & food), and a dance floor with flashing lights. You know, so the robots can relax after their missions. (Which begs the question: How do my children know about night clubs?)

Where did the flashing light come from? It turns out they pulled apart one of those bouncy balls with a pressure activated light in the middle. Q discovered that the light could be activated by completing the circuit using Spy’s tongue.  Q doesn’t care for the mild shock involved, but Spy doesn’t seem to mind.

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Today, Q built a small box out of Lego for Spy.

Spy filled this box and gleefully presented it to his father.

His unsuspecing father (football was on, it was the perfect setup) opened this box.

Really, he should have picked up on the giggling.

A giant ant crawled out and started running across his lap.  Spy had located such a large ant that its pinchers were easily visible.

Spy has no fear of bugs. He thinks they’re cute.

He’s just lucky he didn’t try this one on me.

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Its the first full day of Kindergarten. Day 3.

Spy now has an assigned seat on the bus. He’s the only one.

Why?

Because, as a spy in training, he recognized the value of those high-backed school bus seats. Crouching, he waited for unsuspecting elementary school children to board the bus. They sat. He popped up and bopped them on the head. Repeatedly.

The principal is now aware of Spy’s activities.

And Spy now sits in the front seat surrounded on either side by Q and another older child. That’s right, Spy rides the school bus under guard.

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As expected, spy did not conform to standard kindergarten bus unloading procedure.

Spy was thrilled to be riding the big yellow bus to school with big brother Q.  Spymom was happy to send him, but a little worried that he just might not go to his room. (“Where?” you ask. Anywhere he wanted to. He’s fast and silent.) So I pinned a tag on him with his name and teacher – just in case they found him wandering the halls – and asked Q to walk him to his teacher or room.

I needn’t have worried. According to Q, Spy exited the bus, bypassed the waiting Kindergarten teachers, entered the building with the big kids, and told Q he was going to go to his room “by myself”. Q pointed him down the right hallway and, in typical big brother fashion, walked away with his friends.

Spy arrived in his room, but later told me it was empty. He had such a mystified look on his face.  I tried to explain to him that his teacher was meeting his classmates at the bus. “Why?” he asked. “To help them get to their rooms,” I replied. Confused look from Spy.

You see, we had an orientation on the very first day school was in session. He can’t understand why those other children can’t find their rooms already.

And he wasn’t happy that mom was picking him up early. “I want to ride the bus home with Q.”

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Spy and Q no longer possess the ability to either lock grandparents, parents or babysitters IN their rooms or OUT.  The new doorknobs don’t have locks.

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Its my sister-in-law’s birthday, so we asked the kids to dress up.

Spy had to ‘clean’ his nose. He snuck off to the playroom, but returned screaming and dripping blood down his nice, clean, yellow shirt and brown shorts. Grandma had noticed him slipping into the corner.

I applied first aid while Grandma followed the trail of blood on cleanup duty.

I asked Q to choose a new outfit. He came back with a red shirt. “Just in case.”

Good thinking, Q.

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